Dear Keeper-of-the-Food:
It’s me, your adorable feline, and today I want to talk to you about something important—boredom, specifically, my boredom. My life may seem wonderfully relaxing to you, but I can only cat nap for so long. And just when I’m ready to play, you’re going to sleep!
You don’t play with me as much as you used to, so I’ve had to come up with my own amusements. Pouncing on you while you’re sleeping and other naughty things are all very amusing. There’s nothing else to do really, so why am I being scolded?
I think it’s time we discuss an upgrade in entertainment options, don’t you? Here are my demands requests:
A variety of toys – I’ve been playing with the same sad toys for quite a while now. Here are some fun options that will keep me busy:
- Wand toys with danglers – I love to pounce on dangling toys, as you know.
- Treat-dispensing toys – Food! In a toy! This is genius!
- Catnip toys– Need I say more?
- Interactive toys – Puzzles or toys with moving parts I can chase. There’s a food maze, for example, that sounds delightful.
Curious things – That cardboard box you had the other day was such fun! You know I’m a curious cat. Why not leave those boxes, paper bags and other interesting things around a little longer? They just might keep me away from the drapes.
A window seat – There’s nothing I enjoy more than watching my prey outdoors, so I’d appreciate a window ledge or perch. I can dream of my attack as I watch birds and small animals. Better yet, hang a bird feeder outside and I’ll be in heaven.
Fun furniture and high perches – I need to watch over my domain and explore. If you give me a high post or some interesting cat furniture (or a jungle gym!), I’ll consider staying off the refrigerator.
Just a few things can make life more exciting for me and perhaps less destructive for you. (I give no guarantees.) Some play time and a quick trip to Pet Supermarket would be appreciated. This way, when the Persian next door brags about her massage center, I’ll have something to work with!
Sincerely,
Your highly intelligent feline.

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